Disclaimer- I’m not married so I can’t directly relate- but as an outside observer, I sympathize. A relationship app called “Lasting” surveyed 75,000 married couples and found the top five things couples fight about. Yes, sex was one of them, but not the number one argument.
1. Chores. Experts say the best way to avoid that one is to just split them up 50/50. Or as close to it as possible.
2. The definition of “clean.” Men and women don’t always agree. Does it mean no dirt, or no clutter? So try to come to a consensus on what “clean” really looks like.
3. How often to have sex. Don’t put too much pressure on it. Around 25% of couples have sex once a week. But research shows most married couples only do it one to three times a month.
4. Using your phone too much. If it’s an issue, it’s important to set boundaries and agree on limits. For example, a rule of no phones at the dinner table . . . or in bed . . . might be a good idea. (And it might help with the not-enough-sex thing too.).
5. What to spend money on. Major purchases should always be discussed. If you don’t agree on what a “major” purchase is, just be specific. Set an amount like $100 ahead of time. Then talk about any purchases that are over that limit.
And by the way, if all of this sounds like a movie . . . the horror movie “Orphan” from 2009 featured this exact scenario.